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So, a few years back I was in my hometown for the holidays. 
 Moscow escort My buddy and I decide to go to the next town over to get a few drinks at a little redneck bar. It's a Friday or Saturday night, but the bar is almost empty. There are two open stools at the bar. One of the seats is next to a petite woman with short, red hair. I choose this seat and my friend sits to my left. Now, since my friend and I arrived, another guy in the bar had been hovering behind this woman to my right from time to time and there were a few brief exchanges between them. After about an hour of bullshitting I look to my right, where the red head is sitting and she's texting someone. Escort MoscowI look a little closer to read over her shoulder and the text on her phone says, "I love gagging on your cock". 

When I looked at her face she was looking into my eyes with a smirk on her face. I assumed this text was for the guy that was moving in and out of her sphere. But the next time he came over she basically ignored him. We introduced ourselves. She looked to be in her mid 30's and I was 25 or 26. She asked me how old I was and I told her. I asked how old she was and she told me to guess. I obviously said a lower number than I thought and she knew I was full of shit, but entertained my humor and told me she was 43. This chick looked damn good for 43. She was probably 5'2", 115lbs, a tight body for having a kid. The night went on and for every drink we had she and I got a little closer. By last call we were not kissing, but were completely wrapped up in each other at the bar. She started asking the bartender if she should take me home. The bartender laughed and said I seemed like a great guy and before I knew it we were walking out the door. We were both pretty drunk, but she only lived a mile down the road so she drove back to her place.

This is where it gets a little funky.

So, we get into her apartment, I throw her onto the couch and start making out with her. I take her shirt off to reveal her perky little tits and I'm rubbing her pussy through her jeans. I take my shirt off and unbutton my pants to release my raging boner. She's laying on her back on the couch, I'm standing, knees slightly bent so she can suck my cock. While she's going to town, I unbutton her pants and slide her panties off to reveal her shaved, pink pussy. I take my pants off and kneel on the ground next to the couch and start kissing her neck and down her stomach as I rub her pussy. As I get down to her belly button I start to smell...baby poop. I'm thinking "How old did she say her daughter was?" (Her daughter was at the babysitters this night) I mover back up to kissing her on the mouth and thought maybe the smell was in my head. So I'm moving my kisses down her body again and am keen on eating her pussy. So I get on the couch, between her legs and push her knees up to her chest.

There on her asshole was a little...shit pebble. About the size of a pea.

She is more drunk than I am. I immediately think of how I can address this without making it weird. But all of that effort went out the window when the next words out of my mouth were, "You got poop on your butt". Her response of, "That must be from you" perplexed me. A half hearted attempt at logic didn't seem to get through to her so I suggested she get in the shower to wash up and I would join her in a minute. She seemed a little pissed (most likely embarrassed) but walked naked in to the bathroom and I heard the shower turn on. I start getting dressed to make a mad dash out of the apartment and hear, "Aren't you coming?" I don't know why I didn't leave. I joined her in the bathroom and we stood there, naked, under the water for a while. I think we were both a little too drunk and grossed out to conduct any sexual activity at that point. We got out and dried off. She led me to her bed, turned out the lights and said "Good night". She was snoring five minutes later. I slipped out of bed, into my clothes and out the door. I called a friend and had him pick me up.

She and I got together a bunch of times in the future despite our encounter with her dirty asshole.

She had one of the tightest pussies I've ever felt.